Tuesday, October 22, 2013

A Lot of My Friends Get Mugged

As I've mentioned my good friend, Jacob, lives out in L.A. He lives in a nice enough neighborhood, one where it's perfectly safe to walk down to the burger place, or the liquor store, or wherever. So imagine his surprise when totally got mugged one night.

He was walking home when all of sudden some guy comes up to him and demands his money and phone. Jacob was completely caught off guard, so much that he wasn't even sure he'd heard the guy correctly. So he asked, "What?" And again the robber demanded his stuff. And because Jacob is a wiz under pressure, he responded by asking, "What?" again.

By now the robber was losing his patience so he said something along the lines of "I have a gun and I'm not fucking around," which finally got Jacob to start following directions. But the thing is, Jacob doesn't always take very good care of his things. So what he handed over was a scratched-to-hell iPhone with a shattered screen and gouged up corners. It was so bad that the robber didn't even take it. Just shook his head and walked away.

I'm sure this was a very traumatic experience for Jacob and I don't mean to sound insensitive, but I kind of feel bad for the robber. Jacob was probably the most exasperating robbery that guy ever had. Like, I feel like he probably went home that night and complained about what a shitty day of work it was


Anonymous said...

such a unique take on the traditional 'i got mugged and woe is me" story. what's it like to be the robber who doesn't score an iphone at the end of the day? tough. poor guy!

hehe, your friend jacob sounds great :)

Marie Muenchow said...

Jacob is hilarious. Even when he's getting mugged.