Tuesday, September 17, 2013

It's La-a, and the Dash Ain't Silent

At the risk of sounding like a crotchety old lady, I think the baby naming situation in this country has gotten out of hand. Like, seriously ridiculous. Here are a few reasons:

  • Last year 7,000 baby girls were named Brooklyn. I'd be willing to bet that 6,500 of those mothers have never been to Brooklyn and probably know nothing about the city.
  • The 75th most popular boy's name so far this year is Kaden. The 76th is Cayden. I am not shitting you.
  • Neveah, which is heaven spelled backwards as well as the world's most notorious stripper name, has cracked the top 50 list seven years in a row.
  • So far this year, the 34th most popular boy's name is Jaxson. That's right; not Jackson, not Jason, not even Jaxon. Jaxson. With a totally superfluous s. God help you, do not forget that fucking s.

Personally, I think it's probably best to follow the advice of Jack Donaghy from 30 Rock, "Stick to kings and queens of England. There will never be a President Ashton or a Dr. Katniss."

I don't think there's anything wrong with learning lessons from fictional characters.

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