A Golden Shower of Mischief

My mom is one of eight kids, so I played with my cousins a lot when I was little. A couple of them lived on a lake outside of town, so we spent a ton of time there in the summer. We swam all day, and after dark we played night games. Specifically, one we made up that was simply called "The Game," which was a sort of vicious, every-man-for-himself version of Capture the Flag.

One night while we were playing The Game, I heard my younger cousin, Seth, wailing somewhere in the woods. He came stomping through the yard with absolutely no regard for strategy. It was clear the game was over so we all emerged from our hiding places to see what was the matter. And what was the matter was that Seth was covered head to toe in urine.

Seth had been creeping through the woods looking for a route to get him to the flag and paused next to a tree to form his plan. Our older cousin, Justin, happened to be hiding in that very tree and saw poor, unwitting Seth crouched beneath his feet. Ever the opportunist, Justin couldn't resist whipping it out and peeing all over his cousin.

In an effort to not get his ass chewed out by the parents, Justin claimed that the whole thing was an accident. That he was just hiding in the tree, had to pee, decided to just go from where he was standing, and Seth just happened to be struck by the stream.

And Seth totally believed that story for sixteen years. It wasn't until a couple of years ago that he found out. We were on our annual camping trip with all of the cousins and reminiscing about some of the times we spent out at the lake. Obviously, this led to us giving Seth plenty of shit about getting peed on.

And Seth responded with, "I know; it's so crazy. What are the odds that I would walk under that tree at that exact moment?"

He was surprisingly mad when we found out that the odds were in fact very good, considering it was on purpose.