Tuesday, November 19, 2013

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

Remember how you spent so much time with your best friend in high school that their parents basically became your parents, too? For me, that was my BFF Jess and her mom (whom we call Lil' D).

So one afternoon back in the day, I attended a BBQ with Jess and Lil' D for the hospital where Lil' D worked. Jess and I spent most of the day being awesome and detached teenagers. We sat on the lawn, probably talking about American Eagle, trying to look bored. Picking through the grass, Jess stumbled upon a four-leaf clover and plucked it out. I was excited too, and asked if I could see it.

"No," she said. "I don't trust you."

Those might seem like harsh words for a best friend, but she was totally right. I'm kind of a fuck up sometimes (I've lost things in my own pockets before), and I am really not to be trusted.

Anyway, Jess decided she wanted to keep her four-leaf clover, so we went to Lil' D's car to find a safe place to keep it. In the car Jess found an envelope in which to store her find. She was about to seal it up when I just could not take it anymore. I wanted to see that fucking four-leaf clover.

So I snatched the envelope from her hand. Jess tried to take it back, so I flung my arm behind my head. And then I dropped it. I dropped the still open envelope out the window and into the grass. And of course the clover fell out. I tried to find it, for a really long time, but it was a lost cause.

I guess the moral of this story is don't ever let me hold your baby.


Amanda said...

I'll keep this in mind when you meet Hazel.

Marie Muenchow said...

I should probably just look at her from across the room.