Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Updated: West Wing Boyz

Updated: My dad pointed out that I forgot Herbert Hoover. So, shit. It probably would have been something about a vacuum. I don't know. The inspiration just isn't there today.

I had trouble falling asleep the other night. That doesn't happen to me very often, so I'm not really sure how you're supposed to deal with it.

Word on the street is that you're supposed to count sheep, but that ended up getting me all flustered. Are you supposed to count them as a big herd in a pen? Or are you supposed to count them as they walk by one by one? I tried the latter, but then I got distracted by the ones that had already walked by and gathered off to the side. I wanted to know what they were up to.

So I finally said fuck it. Instead I came up with frat house nicknames for all of the U.S. Presidents. They are terrible. And I am going to share them with you. You're welcome.

George Washington  -  G Dubs
John Adams  -  Number Two
Thomas Jefferson  -  TJ
James Madison  -  Mad Man
James Monroe  -  Five Spot
John Quincy Adams  -  Q Tip
Andrew Jackson  -  Ajax
Martin Van Buren  -  Eight Ball
William Henry Harrison  -  Scary Harry
John Tyler  -  JT
James K. Polk  -  Poker Face
Zachary Taylor  -  Zack Attack
Millard Fillmore  -  Milli Vanilli
Franklin Pierce  -  Frankie P
James Buchanan  -  Bucky
Abraham Lincoln  -  Abelicious
Andrew Johnson  -  AJ
Ulysses S. Grant  -  U Boat
Rutherford B. Hayes  -  Ruthie
James Garfield  -  Slim
Chester A. Arthur  -  Chestnuts
Grover Cleavland  -  Ohio
Benjamin Harrison  -  Big Ben
William McKinley  -  Mack
Theodore Roosevelt  -  Papa Bear
William Taft  -  T Train
Woodrow Wilson  -  Woodie
Warren G. Harding  -  G Unit
Calvin Coolidge  -  Cool Cal
Franklin Roosevelt  -  Rosie
Harry Truman  -  H Bomb
Dwight D. Eisenhower  -  Double Ds
John F. Kennedy  -  Fritz
Lyndon B. Johnson  -  BJ
Richard Nixon  -  Slick Dick
Gerald Ford - Model T
Jimmy Carter  -  JC
Ronald Reagan  -  Four-O
George Bush  -  Bushwacker
Bill Clinton  -  Spanky
George W. Bush  -  Junior
Barack Obama  -  Beezy

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