Thursday, May 9, 2013

Purple Monkey Dishwasher

Want a fun activity? Go back and read some of your old text messages, but take them completely out of context. You and your friends will sound like crazy people. Here are some of the gems from my phone:

-- Great. Now the atheists are getting preachy.

-- Also, a woman with one of those sticks blind people use just stopped to look at something. Today is confusing.

-- She's a mouthy little bitch for a three year old!

-- Just so you know, that was technically a haiku.

-- Old timey french porn!

-- Oh. Congratulations. On the anniversary, not the funeral. Unless you were trying to kill that person. Then congratulations indeed.

-- Gordy got stung by a bee in the mouth.

-- Cook me dinner. Just throw it away when you are done, but text me a picture first.

-- Swordfish live less than ten years.

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