Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Updated: Part Time Maniac

Updated: I have something to add to this list. This morning a bird flew really close to my face. Like, really close. One of its feathers touched my hair, I think. So... bird flu.

I'm obviously a very stable person and totally have it together (please ignore all previous posts), but I have a confession to make. I think I have a little bit of hypochondria*. But only about three things.

1.) For a really long time, I was worried that I was kind of mentally retarded and nobody ever told me. I finally asked my dad about it a couple of years ago and he assured me that I am not. But sometimes I still wonder.

2.) This one comes and goes, but sometimes I get really worried that I have AIDS. I don't think I've ever touched another human being's blood, but I'm not 100% certain. And I always have hang nails. So if I did indeed touch someone's blood at some point in my life and I just don't remember it, and that person had AIDS, then I probably have it too. I'm just saying it's a possibility. And sometimes that possibility consumes me.

3.) I'm pretty sure I have a brain tumor. This is strictly a hunch, as I don't really have any symptoms, but I often get this abstract feeling that there is a tumor growing in my brain. But you can't go to the doctor and say, "Can you check if I have a brain tumor? I just have a very strong feeling that I do." Insurance would never cover the scans.

* I totally just got stuck in a chicken-and-egg style black hole wondering if thinking you are a hypochondriac is a sure fire symptom of hypochondria.

No comments: